Do you know any new parents who had a baby recently but seem to be in a very bad mood all the time? Do they look depressed, withdrawn, or fatigued?
Postpartum depression is a mental condition that normally affects new parents after giving birth if not diagnosed and treated early, and this should not be confused with 'baby blues'.
The symptoms may start within days, a month, or a year after delivery. It is normally thought of as a womans' condition but new fathers too can suffer from postpartum depression.
In any relationship or marriage childbirth is normally the happiest moment, but it can also be the breaking point if both partners don’t understand and support each other.
Every womans’ experience is different. Most women feel unattractive and worthless, they don’t engage in any family activities and may withdraw from family or friends.
As for men they'll feel the pressure of being a new dad, providing for the family, sleepless nights, and this time it's when most of them feel that the new mum does not give him her time anymore, or “she has changed since she gave birth”.
Yes, she will change because a lot goes on in her mind too at that moment thanks to childbirth and hormonal changes.
Some of the changes you'll see in a mum with postpartum depression include;
Low Libido
Feeling hopeless and helpless
Severe Mood swings
Fatigue
Lack of appetite
Anxiety attacks
Withdraw from family and friends
Have difficulty bonding with the baby
While women go through all that, mens' symptoms may be a little different that’s why they are less understood, this may include;
Looking frustrated
Feels guilty and worried
He'll be more argumentative
Feels the pressure to provide
Isolates himself.
He'll have trouble sleeping.
Change of appetite - eat more thus gaining weight.
It's very important to be aware of your body and your mental health, from the moment the baby is conceived, so that you can look out for any unusual habits or symptoms.
If both partners feel overwhelmed with the new parenting responsibilities, they need to seek medical and psychological attention as soon as possible.
Seek assistance and advice from friends and family, especially those who have been there before, men should not shy away from seeking help from other new dads, this will minimize the pressure.
Most new parents with postpartum depression assume that it will go away with time, the truth is it won't if you do nothing about it instead it will be chronic mental instability. This may even lead to domestic violence or neglect.
Bottom Line
If diagnosed early, Postpartum depression is a treatable and controlled condition in both men and women
So men accompany your wives to those clinic visits, or those therapy sessions, talk about it, you should both open up about your frustration, your fear, and your shortcomings. It will help a lot.